14 Things You Should Never Let People Do To You

1. Treat you like a doormat. You know, the ones who appear only when they have a need or want.

2. Try to make you jealous. My friend did that in grade school by sticking to another friend and ignoring me (Refer to my previous blog 'Get Rid of People Who Make You Unhappy').

3. Compare you to others.

4. Ignore you or act angry without giving a proper reason.

5. Borrow your things and never return them.

6. Take out the stress of a bad day on you. Seen the part in ‘Wakeup Sid’ when Sid fails in his college finals and lashes out at his best friend? That’s not on. Cry on their shoulder, share with them, but don’t take it out on them.

7. Tell you it’s about time you got married. If you knew the time and person were right, wouldn’t you be married? The entire family was always on one of my cousin’s case to get married, one day she couldn’t take it anymore and burst. “If I could find a half decent person, I would marry!” were her words.

8.Tell you how many children you should have. Let me put it this way: your body, your health, your finances, your temperament, YOUR decision!

9. Tell you how to bring up your child. Let’s face it, 99% of the time, the parents love and care about their child more than anyone else… so they really know better. Advice and suggestions are alright, but there’s a certain way to impart them, not seeming like you know better than them at parenting.

10. Use you to get closer to someone else. Ok oft times u won’t figure out the person’s dirty scam, but if it feels like what it feels like, say bye bye. The one time it’s alright? When you are fully involved in the matchmaking.

11. If you are in touch everyday but the person disappears for days every now and then and never gives a fitting reason for the act. Heck - even if there is a reason, it’s not acceptable. In a wired world, there’s simply no excuse for not being able to send a mail or text message.

12. Play games with you. Say one thing one day, another thing the next, be nice one day, then mean the next, be illusive, indirect, aloof… you get the picture.

13. Put you down and say mean things on the pretext of themselves being ‘straightforward’ people. Try saying something they wont like to hear and then exclaim, “Hey, I say it straight!” 

Note: In all cases, parents are an exception 

Any relationship is a two way street, dont let others do the above to you but dont do the same to anyone either.

~Always treat others the way you yourself want to be treated~

Get Rid of People Who Make You Unhappy

A few days ago I wrote a blog about being happy and one of the points (and a key point it is) was to lose anyone who brings you down.

I decided to share a personal story about myself as an example

When I was in grade 6, my best friend left for the States and naturally I was devastated. An year ago two girls had joined the school and had quickly attained a bad reputation. The leader of the two - who Ill refer to as the terrible twins - was extremely charming. She developed a sudden fondness for me and soon I was friends with the terrible twins. Within a day, the entire girl population of the class detached itself from me. It was as if I had suddenly acquired the status of an 'untouchable'.

Life soon turned into a nightmare, my grades plummeted and I quickly gained a bad girl rep. The leader loved playing mind games, she loved putting people down including her own friends (me and the other twin) and if one of us said something to displease her even unintentionally, she would turn a cold shoulder. Sometimes she would do it without a reason. Her idea of fun, I guess. There is so much more but I wouldn’t want to go into details.

Then one day, when the leader went on one of her ignore one friend for the day sessions, I had had enough, I got up from my seat, walked up to the nicest girl in the class and said, ‘Can I be friends with you again?’ This girl was almost like the leader of the other half of the female class population, but she wasn’t a game playing brat, instead she was this clean cut class topper who also happened to be extremely sweet.

The girl took one reading of my apparently grieved face and said, “Sure.”

And the rest is history. The girls accepted me to the utter contempt of the terrible twins. I changed my seat to the front row and started hanging out with them during break.

The terrible twins were extremely upset, they forged fake notes and showed them to my new friends, which read that I still liked them and was thinking of returning to them. They would come and sit with me when I was alone. But I was taking none of it. I was done with them.

In exams I used to come in the top three in class but the two years I was with the terrible twins, I had not featured in the top five let alone top three!
One day the English teacher was taking a class. During a break, she glanced down to something scribbled on the cover of my notebook; read ‘I hate name + name’ She then asked, “Are you not friends with them anymore?” to which I replied in affirmative.
I still remember her big smile as she exclaimed, “That’s great!”

I can’t believe it took me two years to take this essential step. I wrecked havoc with my academic and mental life thanks to these two girls. I guess I felt that I had no one else besides them and that I would have to stay with them no matter what. I think that’s what most of the people feel when they can’t get rid of an unhappy relationship. But I am glad that I finally managed to take that first step to get rid of unhappiness in my life.

Don’t think about the consequences; if you tried to make things alright and there’s still unhappiness, take that step to remove it from your life. Forever.