Hard work paying off ... My first book

I just got my first royalty paycheck for the sales of my book, "The Sorrowful Muse by the Candlelight" so I am very happy ... it has little to do with the amount but more-so with the satisfaction of hard work paying off. :)

I proof read my book all by myself... that was the toughest part, reading each line with peeled eyes for mistakes... its amazing how you can overlook mistakes while reading! I probably proof read my entire manuscript about 4 times. Whew! There were times when I wanted to pull my hair out!

I also did not take the help of any editor. Every single sentence in my book is original and completely my own. I once read somewhere that if you read the original manuscript by an author and then the edited one, you would be surprised at the complete makeover that an editor can do to your writing. I had the option of having an editor help me but then I wouldn't feel that great if someone complimented my writing because I would be taking credit for something that wasnt completely my own.

FOR THE LOVE OF TEA

Anyone who knows me even slightly well - knows that I love tea. I'm pretty sure I caught the addiction from my maternal side and started drinking it pretty young, around the age of 15. Since then tea is my go-to therapy in times of happiness, sadness, distress, anxiety - you name the feeling.

Well I borrow a lot of magazines from the library and there are always so many articles on skin care in them. Recently, while reading one such article, I realised that I neglect myself quite a bit thus one of my new years resolutions was to start a skin care regime.

And this is when I felt that I may have to let somethings that may be sacred to me go out the door and one question loomed large over my head - would tea be one of them? - Id always thought tea was bad for you, but Id kept this thought carefully tucked away in some remote corner of my brain.

Then I did some research and I was overjoyed to learn the goodness of tea which Id like to share with you all:

Tea has antioxidants which protect your skin from the effects of pollution and aging.

Tea helps prevents cancer by unclogging the arteries, yes black tea too!

Tea has no calories

Tea flavanoids may be bone builders. In a Chinese study, tea drinkers were found to have higher bone density than non drinkers.

Tea increases your metabolism

One cup of black or green tea has more antioxidant power than a serving of broccoli, carrots or spinach - Study conducted in 1998.

So my friends especially all of you who have made fun of my binge (tea) drinking (l0l), in Macaulay Culkins words; "Eat this."

14 Things You Should Never Let People Do To You

1. Treat you like a doormat. You know, the ones who appear only when they have a need or want.

2. Try to make you jealous. My friend did that in grade school by sticking to another friend and ignoring me (Refer to my previous blog 'Get Rid of People Who Make You Unhappy').

3. Compare you to others.

4. Ignore you or act angry without giving a proper reason.

5. Borrow your things and never return them.

6. Take out the stress of a bad day on you. Seen the part in ‘Wakeup Sid’ when Sid fails in his college finals and lashes out at his best friend? That’s not on. Cry on their shoulder, share with them, but don’t take it out on them.

7. Tell you it’s about time you got married. If you knew the time and person were right, wouldn’t you be married? The entire family was always on one of my cousin’s case to get married, one day she couldn’t take it anymore and burst. “If I could find a half decent person, I would marry!” were her words.

8.Tell you how many children you should have. Let me put it this way: your body, your health, your finances, your temperament, YOUR decision!

9. Tell you how to bring up your child. Let’s face it, 99% of the time, the parents love and care about their child more than anyone else… so they really know better. Advice and suggestions are alright, but there’s a certain way to impart them, not seeming like you know better than them at parenting.

10. Use you to get closer to someone else. Ok oft times u won’t figure out the person’s dirty scam, but if it feels like what it feels like, say bye bye. The one time it’s alright? When you are fully involved in the matchmaking.

11. If you are in touch everyday but the person disappears for days every now and then and never gives a fitting reason for the act. Heck - even if there is a reason, it’s not acceptable. In a wired world, there’s simply no excuse for not being able to send a mail or text message.

12. Play games with you. Say one thing one day, another thing the next, be nice one day, then mean the next, be illusive, indirect, aloof… you get the picture.

13. Put you down and say mean things on the pretext of themselves being ‘straightforward’ people. Try saying something they wont like to hear and then exclaim, “Hey, I say it straight!” 

Note: In all cases, parents are an exception 

Any relationship is a two way street, dont let others do the above to you but dont do the same to anyone either.

~Always treat others the way you yourself want to be treated~

Get Rid of People Who Make You Unhappy

A few days ago I wrote a blog about being happy and one of the points (and a key point it is) was to lose anyone who brings you down.

I decided to share a personal story about myself as an example

When I was in grade 6, my best friend left for the States and naturally I was devastated. An year ago two girls had joined the school and had quickly attained a bad reputation. The leader of the two - who Ill refer to as the terrible twins - was extremely charming. She developed a sudden fondness for me and soon I was friends with the terrible twins. Within a day, the entire girl population of the class detached itself from me. It was as if I had suddenly acquired the status of an 'untouchable'.

Life soon turned into a nightmare, my grades plummeted and I quickly gained a bad girl rep. The leader loved playing mind games, she loved putting people down including her own friends (me and the other twin) and if one of us said something to displease her even unintentionally, she would turn a cold shoulder. Sometimes she would do it without a reason. Her idea of fun, I guess. There is so much more but I wouldn’t want to go into details.

Then one day, when the leader went on one of her ignore one friend for the day sessions, I had had enough, I got up from my seat, walked up to the nicest girl in the class and said, ‘Can I be friends with you again?’ This girl was almost like the leader of the other half of the female class population, but she wasn’t a game playing brat, instead she was this clean cut class topper who also happened to be extremely sweet.

The girl took one reading of my apparently grieved face and said, “Sure.”

And the rest is history. The girls accepted me to the utter contempt of the terrible twins. I changed my seat to the front row and started hanging out with them during break.

The terrible twins were extremely upset, they forged fake notes and showed them to my new friends, which read that I still liked them and was thinking of returning to them. They would come and sit with me when I was alone. But I was taking none of it. I was done with them.

In exams I used to come in the top three in class but the two years I was with the terrible twins, I had not featured in the top five let alone top three!
One day the English teacher was taking a class. During a break, she glanced down to something scribbled on the cover of my notebook; read ‘I hate name + name’ She then asked, “Are you not friends with them anymore?” to which I replied in affirmative.
I still remember her big smile as she exclaimed, “That’s great!”

I can’t believe it took me two years to take this essential step. I wrecked havoc with my academic and mental life thanks to these two girls. I guess I felt that I had no one else besides them and that I would have to stay with them no matter what. I think that’s what most of the people feel when they can’t get rid of an unhappy relationship. But I am glad that I finally managed to take that first step to get rid of unhappiness in my life.

Don’t think about the consequences; if you tried to make things alright and there’s still unhappiness, take that step to remove it from your life. Forever.

For writers only...isnt it frustrating when...

When a change is made to your published article and it is wrong! It happened to one of my articles; the proof reader substituited a word in a sentence which not only proceeded to change the meaning of what I was trying to say but it was grammatically incorrect!

When the image/illustration accompanying your article does not match your intentions. I wrote an article on Salat (prayer) and the image the publishing magazine gave it was of a girl wearing a barely there head scarf and lots of makeup and jewelery while making prayer. It definitely had an adverse effect on my serious themed article.

When they miss to include your byline and then it appears in a small box in the contents section in the next issue, which could be after a week, fortnight or a month. Seriously, unless it was a MINDBLOWING article, who would remember it -besides yourself, ofcourse?! Yes, yes, it happened to me.

When you come up with a great idea for an article focused at a particular publication and another writer beats you to it. This mostly happens in pulications targeted to a niche or small audience. When I get a smashing idea, I get done with it the very night so no its not happened to me yet.

And the worst of all, when you see another persons name credited to your article! Believe it or not, it happened to me. A publication republished my article without asking and gave the byline of a female with my first name but different last name! It was downright maddening and nothing can replace the anger and frustration which follows.


Editors and Proofreaders, please take note!

How to tell if the other person is serious in the relationship

They will invest themselves in the relationship; give their time, energy and emotion to it.

They will talk about future plans

Their parents and close friends know about you

They stay in touch, and do not dissapear for days without notice or communication

They take an interest in what you like/dislike/have to say. The conversations do not only revolve around them

You dont have other people telling you that 'he/she is bad news. Stay away' Like they say,where there is smoke, there is fire.

Your gut feeling, trust it. When the other person is not sincere, it shows; through eyes, thoughts and words, but sometimes we are too hazed by love to see or feel it.

~~~HOW TO BE GRATEFUL (and happy with yourself)~~~

We all happen to find something thats not right with our selves or our lives, or we may be dissatisfied with our looks or a relationship, our job or anything else.

No one or life can be perfect, if life were to be perfect, we would be bored, there would be no challenges, no problems, simply put, we would not be able to appreciate the good things in life. Thus the only thing we can make 'perfect' is our perspective: Here are some tips on how to be grateful:

• Make an achievement folder: write down everything you are good at, your skills, wins, trophies, compliments, anything and everything that makes you feel good about yourself. I have a carry all that contains my writing portfolios, some essays that I am proud of and some educational and career momentos. If my house were on fire (God forbid) the one material thing Id want to save is this carry all.

• Anytime you read an article or story about someone with difficult circumstances or life, but have a positive attitude about it, cut it out and save it (unless its from the library in which case you can photocopy) and save them in a file. I recently read an article on a woman of my age who has Huntingtons, a disease in which she will slowly lose the ability to think, walk, talk or eat on her own. The woman carries a positive attitude and is helping people with a similar disease because she wants to live her life to the fullest. These articles will prove to be a real spirit booster anytime you re in difficult circumstances and will also remind you, that no matter what, theres always someone else who has it worse.

• Talk to people who cheer you up, and lose anything and anyone who brings you down. Sometimes we become addicted to people who let us down, (there are some psychological explanations for that but lets not go there) lose them! It will be hard but you can do it. If its someone you cannot avoid forever, like a relative then limit correspondence. It will be almost like shedding off an old skin. You will feel tons better.

• Learn a new pastime or creativity. If it doesnt work, move on and get another. Theres no shortage of hobbies out there. The more you learn = self satisfaction.

• My sister and I keep a compliment book. Every time we get a compliment we jot it down. It could be on anything, it just has to have one unifying factor: a word of praise.

• Eat well. Dress well.